Stupidity
by Izzi and Mimi
Summary: An eternity packed into a few breif seconds of pain, fear and confusion: no explanation can come for death. And yet for life it is the same. A sudden instant when everyone is completely helpless,when nothing can be done.This is how it will always be. Try.


–**laser lights beam around- NEW STORRRRRRYYYYY!!**

**Distant6 reporting!! Awright, first ever chapter to our first ever story on our joint account!! -is hit in the eye with laser- GYAAAHH!!**

**NonPopular: ……-without missing a beat- Anywho! This is an idea we came up with when…. Well, basically when we felt like wanting to make an FMA fic…So, anyway, remember to—(lasers)--**

**Distant6: --hit in the same eye— OUCH! WHAT THE HECK?!**

**NonPopular: --review!!**

Stupidity

Part 1:

Hope and Faith

"So, this is where the FullMetal Alchemist lives?"

"Yup. This is where the guy crashes. So he's really back from that other world?"

"I guess so. And I suppose he's here for one reason only: the friggin' pyromaniac burnt down his house. And no one cared enough to rebuild it. They should have tried harder."

"Well, it did hold a lot of painful memories, right?"

"Yeah. I guess; he just couldn't look back. …So…what now?"

"Well, I say we go give that Automail-junkie a scare, and reintroduce ourselves properly in the morning."

"We followin' FullMetal and his brother to Central?"

"Naturally."

Edward yawned, rolling out of bed. He hit the floor with a particularly loud thump, all a part of his brilliant scheme to nonchalantly wake up his little brother as well as startle himself into wakefulness. Al yelped and sat straight up, gasping. "Wha—?!"

Edward smirked at him. "Rise and shine, dearest brother!"

Al frowned at him sleepily. "Why are you up so early, big brother? Usually I have to wake you."

"My alchemist senses are tingling," he drawled, sitting up and stretching his arms behind his head. "I sense something is amiss."

"You just couldn't get back to sleep again, could you?"

"Shuddap."

The two thumped loudly down the stairs, Edward braiding back his hair. "Aww, man, Granny's not up," Edward mumbled piteously. "Now I'm gonna have to cook."

Al mimed diving into a bomb shelter.

"Well, gee, you can go hungry." Ed pretended to be affronted and strode into the kitchen with a regal air.

"Aw, I'm kidding, big brother, you're a great cook." Al slid into his seat (yes, at Winry's house they have their own room and their assigned dinner chairs) at the table and peered anxiously at Edward, who was pulling out a big pot and filling it with water. "You're not going to make hot dogs for breakfast again, are you?"

Edward stiffened; slowly putting the pot on the counter, he turned to face Al. "Do you have any suggestions?"

Al opened his mouth, when a faint tune drifted in from the other room. "Henry the eighth I am…Henry the eighth I am, I am…I got married to the widow next door…She's been married seven times before…."

They, upon further investigation found Winry rocking back and forth in a corner, clutching a broom tightly to her chest, mumbling the song shakily with a vague, psycho smile on her face. All but ignoring this, Edward yelled, "You got married? And to some widow?! Why was I not informed of this? When did this happen?!" He spun to point at Al. "You were in on this too, weren't you?!"

Winry softly continued the song, making up her own lyrics as she did: "I had a dog named Sam …we ate ham…with a ram…named Flam…who had a clam…"

Den, from where he'd been hiding under the couch, barked furiously. "(What? Who is this "Sam" person?!)"

Al knelt beside Winry after delivering a reproving smack to the back of his elder brother's head. "I don't understand," he said, listening to Winry muttering about socks and llamas, "what's wrong with her?"

Suddenly, two identical girls leapt down from the ceiling (Yeah. They'd been hanging out there, waiting for Ed and Al to wake up. Haha, get it? They were hanging from…Oh, nevermind.) and landed soundlessly in front of the two flustered alchemists. "That'd be us!"

Edward yelped and fell over backwards in his reflexive haste to get away; Al gasped audibly and flinched back.

They spoke in complete unison: "Yeahh…. A lot of people seem to have that reaction. Why don't know why though. It makes us sad. Well, not really, but you get what we're saying."

Edward sat up. He jabbed a finger in Al's general direction. "HA!! MY ALCHEMIST SENSES ARE REAL!!"

The girls glanced sidelong at each other. "And people say we have issues," one muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Ye-ahh. Gotta watch that," the other muttered, scuffing her foot. "But people shouldn't make fun of us for our problems." They both started sobbing.

Al kind of raised a hand. "U-Uh…who's "us"?"

Both girls brightened at once, fake tears having suddenly disappeared (-insert Twilight Zone theme song here-). "OH! How rude of us; we didn't introduce ourselves." At each emphasized word they kind of stared down on Ed, Al, and the psychopath Winry (kind like this: 0.o).

"N…No, th-that's okay…"

"We will anyway." The speaker pointed to herself. "I'm Hope." She pointed to her companion. "That's Faith."

"Er…Do you ever…I dunno…swap identities?" Edward asked. Al and Winry—who'd recovered slightly but still wouldn't put down the broom—stared at him. "Whaaat? Just seems like the thing to do if you had a twin."

"Oh, we would never," Faith declared, perhaps a bit too sweetly for any human's comfort.

"And we aren't twins," Hope explained smartly. "We just happened (0.o) to look exactly alike."

"How?"

"We…don't…know," they said, slowly as though just realizing that.

The Elrics and the Rockbell blinked at one another. "Aaand….Why are you here?" Ed asked, in the "do-I-want-to-know" voice.

There was a pause. Faith and Hope glanced at each other. "Why are we here?" Hope muttered to herself, looking skyward as she tapped her chin.

"An excellent question," Faith proclaimed loudly, raising her finger.

"Not gonna answer, are you?"

"Nope."

"Yeaaah. We think it runs in the family." Faith paused. She glanced at Hope.

"…. Where are they….?" Hope pondered thoughtfully.

Edward stood, having made one of his infamous diagnostics. "There's something wrong with you. Really."

Winry offered, "You should see a shrink."

"We tried that once. Didn't turn out too well."

"W-what? Why?" Al asked, dreading the answer.

"Well…what does it mean when you're shrink does a suicidal jackknife off an eight story building?"

Edward's eyes widened. "U-Umm…."

"Well anyway," Faith and Hope said, trotting past them into the kitchen. "How 'bout them hotdogs, Ed?"

Soon after their meal of about fifteen hotdogs each—how they could still move after that, the world will never know—they trotted into the kitchen and promptly passed out on the sofa. They looked so much more human when they were asleep; so harmless. So Ed and Al—Winry had decided she needed a nice long sleep, and had told the two boys to wake her up when they returned from Central—studied them as they slept.

They wore white cargo pants, and identical light blue shirts with a darker blue soul sealer transmutation circle over the heart (you know, that awesome thing that Ed used to seal Al to the armor before, yeah…). They wore large black combat boots, with several buckles instead of laces. They had inked bracelets around their left wrists (meaning "tattoos"), that looked like coiled leafed vines. Their nails were painted white and blue, accentuated with black. Their hair was past their shoulders, black and striped with blue and white (so basically their hair is multicolored. Whooo!!), and their eyes—when they were open, which they weren't now, of course, cuz if they were they'd be HALF SHARK!!!—were obsidian; they were pure black, but when they reflected the light, shone almost clear. They had pieces of cloth tied over their forehead, under their hair (like one of those Naruto headbands, but without the actual forehead protectors on it, and they were black).

"Whaddayou think, Al?" Ed asked softly, eyes on the two little girls. "Where do you think they came from?"

"I dunno…." Al frowned, scratching his head. "They say their not related…but then they both refer to the same "family". How can we know they're not orphans?" Edward was silent, studying them with a guarded expression. Al smiled a little. "They're about the age we were, big brother; when we became orphans."

Edward blinked, the grinned. "Nahh, I was just thinkin' about that thing Winry was talkin' about. You know, the llamas, and the socks…" He paused. "Hey, Al? What is a llama?"

"I don't know…."

"Well, in any case, you are right. They could be orphans, and they are the age we were. We were just lucky enough to have another family we could fall back on for support."

"Yeah," Al nodded. "So, what do we do about them?"

Edward gave Al a studying look. "You want to keep them, don't you?"

'

"Big brother, pleaaaaase?"

"It's not like they're cats, Al!"

"But you wouldn't let me have one of them either!"

"We do NOT support slavery in this home!"

"But if we asked them…"

"SIGH! Sure. If they have no where else to go, and they really want to stay, I'll allow it."

Al blinked. "You know, that's kind of not your decision…this isn't your house."

"Yes, but I usually get my way anyway, which is why you were begging me for my permission in the first place," he told Al, who kind of grinned helplessly.

One of the girls shifted—they honestly did not know which one it was because they were SO IDENTICAL!!—and their headband loosened and fell to the floor. Edward, despite how much he "quote" "didn't want to have them live there but was bending because his little brother did" "unquote" """""(sorry, those are fun), strode forward and picked it up. He made to tie it around the girl's forehead, brain about to implode from trying to decipher whether or not she was Hope or Faith, when he froze.

On their foreheads was a x (I'M NOT GONNA TRY TO DESCRIBE IT IN WORDS!! BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THAT!! –points for declaration-).

"Al." Edward turned quickly to where his brother was poking suspiciously at one of the hot dogs.

"Yeah?"

"…The homunculi…Envy and them…They all had tattoos, right?"

Al turned and looked dubiously at his older brother. "Yes, big brother, you remember; of the uroborus, the eternal serpent."

"Thought so." He turned and glanced back down at the girls, beckoning to Al. When Al sauntered over, he pointed at the girl—Hope or Faith? THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW!!!—and muttered, "That…thing. Are they homunculi too?"

Al grinned at his brother. "No way, Ed. Don't worry about it."

Later that day, Al left on some random errand that he thought significant to the world, Winry was comatose, Pinako was MIA, Den was off on a futile quest to find Sam, thus Edward was alone in the house with the two maybe-homonculi.

When they woke up, they found themselves under the suspicious scrutiny of a part of glaring golden eyes. "Eh, stop staring at us like that, it's creepy," one of them—HOPE OR FAITH?!!—whined, squirming under his intense gaze.

"Creepy!"

Edward was never known for tact. "Are you homunculi?"

His answer came back equally tactless: "Yup!"

"Don't try to deny it, I know for a fact—Wait. Did you say "yup"?"

"Uhh….yup?"

He blinked, at a loss for words. "You…you just come right out and say it…" He could see they were growing bored already, and quickly carried on with the discussion, knowing that once they were distracted it'd be impossible to continue with any normal conversation. "Well…are you bad homunculi?"

"Well…it depends what you consider to be "bad"."

Edward frowned, trying to word his next question. "Are there…I mean, are there more…y'know, like you?"

"No. Well, there are more homunculi, but none quite like us."

"I mean, there's Delirium, but she's on a whooole different scale."

"I mean, things pop out of her head, for Cheese's sake!"

"Kinda creepy, really."

Edward blinked at them, mouth agape. Faith—it's hard writing a story with nameless characters, so I decided not to any longer!!—giggled. "You look very unintelligent, you know that?"

Edward clamped his jaw shut, eyes narrowed. "Shut up, shrimp."

"Look who's talkin'! Dude, we have a reason to be small. You—that's just sad. A little diminutive for an eighteen-year-old, arentcha?" Hope shot back, dancing out of reach before he could strangle her.

Before another exchange to the growing banter could be made, Den crawled back into the house. Taking one look at him, Faith and Hope screamed, "OY!! GET BACK HERE!!" and dove on him.

Edward leapt to his feet. "What are you doing?!"

"This guy owes us money!!"

"Yeah, we played poker together!!"

"(No we didn't! Besides, you cheated!)"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

Edward yanked the two struggling girls off the animal. "Guys—you just met him. How could you have played poker together?…And since when do you speak Dog?"

"You're right," Faith said, ignoring the latter question. "It must have been SAM who lost to us!"

Den, who'd slunk away, turned back furiously. "(WHO IS THIS SAM?!)"

**First chaaaaaaappppteeeeer!! Don't hate it!! If you do get over yourself cuz THIS IS FUN TO WRITE NO MATTER WHAT YOU FREAKS THINK!! WAAAHHH!!**

**NonPopular (dubbed "Mimi"; Hope): Go ahead, flame; I dare you to!**

**Distant6 (dubbed "Iz"; Faith): -spazzes- LASERS!! **

**Both: -duck- HOLY CRAP!**


End file.
